I was born in 1964, and my parents were not given a name or reason why my fingers were different. Here are some poignant stories related to my difference growing up:
As a child, I thought I wouldn’t be allowed to marry because I could not wear a wedding ring on my left ring finger.
I remember being uncomfortable at Thanksgiving, when the class would trace their hand to create a picture of a turkey. I never would.
In elementary school, I was given the choice of learning to play the flute or the trombone, as those were instruments my fingers would accommodate. I chose the flute, although my left pinkie had to roll to play two keys. It worked! I never could play the guitar or flip people off, though.
My own sister once forgot about my birth defect, asking why I preferred mittens to gloves. When I tried to explain she said, “Oh my gosh, I forgot!”
When my daughter was about 3, she said “Mommy, when I grow up I’m going to have long hair like you and I’m going to have small fingers like you.” Precious.
I have been a high school math teacher my whole life. Once I had a male student whose arms ended at the wrists. He played on the school tennis team, and although he needed both arms to hold a pencil, his writing was neater than most of the other boys in class.
It’s much easier for those of us born with differences, than for those who lose limbs later. We learn to accommodate and for us its normal! Although for children and teens it can be very unpleasant to stand out from peers.