My Life | Reyna’s story

Hi, my name is Reyna. I am 43 mother with 3 grown children and I have ABS. I never knew what my condition was called until today when I saw it on my medical history chart at the doctors. Let me start out by saying that I will most likely make a few people angry by my statements to follow.

I am not “special”, I am not handicap or handicapable…. I am NORMAL, the best thing my parents ever did was to not treat me differently from my brothers. I can do anything that I choose to do and if need be modify items so that I can do things better…. just like any other person on this planet. Yes, I spent many nights crying and wishing I looked like everyone else but what teenage girl doesn’t, mine were just for slightly different reason why. Please if you do anything for your children do these few things, love them, treat them no different and be there as a shoulder to cry on.

When small children ask me what happen I always let them touch my left hand and get a good look and I wiggle it as much as I can to show them I can do things and it feels the same as the rest of me. My answer to why I look different is because “God has to make every mommy look different so that little boys and girls can tell which one is theirs.”

I would love for anyone to reach out to me if you have any questions or concerns or comments.

6 thoughts on “My Life | Reyna’s story

  1. Hello Reyna,

    I struggled with the fear of my little girl growing up in a world where she may be lab led as different due to her little left hand. though she took a little longer to figure out how to get certain things done, she’s managed all on her own. I just started her at daycare. I asked that she be treated the same as all the other children, the only aid she needs is help in getting dressed as she has no left elbow. But I still have my moments where I wonder if she’ll make it through high school in society today. Kids can be cruel and all I want to do is protect her. I hate it when we’re in public and a small child points out my daughters little hand and the parent corrects them in saying that it’s not polite to point out someone who is different, I would rather the parent speak to them about it rather than make them afraid to approach us. Do you remember how your parents dealt with strangers?

    1. Corrina,
      Unfortunately, I don’t remember how my parents dealt with strangers. I do however know how I reacted to strangers as a young child up through my adulthood. My first reaction when meeting new people was to put my left hand in my pocket or behind my back. This was my personal defense mechanism and to this day I find myself still doing it. I want to say I have all the answers and that I am not self-conscious but I’m only human and I still have my days.
      My advice is to approach and talk to those strangers when the opportunely presents itself. Explain to them there is nothing wrong with your child and that everyone is different. Both inside and out, plus some are more different then others that is what makes us unique human beings.
      As an adult I encourage children and adults to hold my hand look at my hand and ask any questions that they may have.
      Just hold your head high and look them square in the eye as you walk by and say hello. If you go through life proud of your daughter and yourself then others will see you in a positive way.
      I know I haven’t really answered your question but I hope I at least helped.

      1. Thank you so much for your quick response! My daughter has the same comfort reaction to place her arm behind her back! She started doing it while still in my belly!! I drove the doctors nuts because all they wanted to do was count her fingers but she wouldn’t let them! I’m so relieved to hear from an adult who speaks so freely. We’ve met many children and spoke with dozens of doctors. But knowing that my little Mia is not “special” nor should she be treated that way makes it easier to enforce! Knowing that your parents took the same approach is certainly great news and reassures that we’re doing the right thing! Thank you again!

  2. i agree with you 100%! i’m 26 yrs old and will graduate as a dentist in a few months. i used that statement (i am not handicapped or handicap able; i am normal) in my applications for dental school and residency.

  3. My daughter found out in scan of a missing right hand below the elbow. We all cried for weeks , but now the girl born is a dolly that from that moment on we don’t even think of the problem. She is 4 months now and as grandfather I cannot wait to travel fly two hours to her city to meet her every month. Thanks for yr tips … We will take each day as it comes…… Normally

    1. H b,
      A health baby is the wish for all parents and grandparents, don’t let a little physical differences change that positive note.
      Plus, remember a good cry helps more then you’d think, don’t feel bad for needing to do that once in awhile. I wish you all the best.

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