It was December 8th when I found out I was pregnant. I was surprised but once to shock wore off, I couldn’t have been happier about having a baby!!! My pregnancy went smoothly. My first ultrasound was at 8 weeks and I couldn’t believe I had life growing inside of me! I always had this feeling he was a boy, so at 17 weeks when I got my next ultrasound, I wasn’t surprised when they said “It’s a Boy!” At 33 weeks, I got my last ultrasound and saw his face! I noticed right away that he had my chin, and he still does!
At the end of my pregnancy, my son hadn’t moved down and my cervix wasn’t thinning out. I started to get dizzy a lot and I was gaining weight too fast. My doctor decided to take him a week early by c section. I decided that I didn’t want everyone at the hospital when he was born because I wanted time to bond with him. So I only had my parents and three of my close friends there. My Dad was in the room with me when he was born. The first thing I asked was “Does he have all his fingers and toes?” No one said anything. I was in a daze from the spinal tap I had gotten, so I asked again. My Dad told me he was healthy and beautiful. I knew he wasn’t telling me something. At that point I heard one of the nurses say he was missing digits 2, 3 and 4 on his left hand. It must have been all the medications I was on, because I lost it. I didn’t understand what was going on, but I knew he was missing fingers. They took him away to the nursery and I didn’t see him for 2 hours. When they finally brought him to me I instantly fell in love with him. I was upset about his hand, but I didn’t let it show. All the nurses were telling me how lucky I was that it was only his fingers. At the time I didn’t feel lucky. To make matters worse, he failed his hearing test in his left ear as well.
By this time I was expecting the worse on everything. I was very depressed and wanted to cry, but I didn’t. I didn’t want anyone to think I didn’t love him. It wasn’t until I went home with him and was alone that I broke down and cried. I felt like it was my fault somehow and that I hadn’t had a “whole baby”.
The following weeks after got better. I went to a few doctors and was told he had ABS. I was given lots of information on it and of course I Googled it!!! It was easier for me after I saw that it is more common then I knew. And Kruiz passed his second hearing test!!! He is now 4 weeks old and is an amazing baby!! He holds my finger between his two and it melts my heart. he has two big dimples in his cheeks and he is learning how to smile! We get a lot of questions out in public. I tell people he isn’t different. His hand just looks different.
And how Kruiz has grown into a beautiful little boy 🙂 Our friendship has come a long way 🙂