My husband and I were so excited when we found out we were expecting a baby. We had waited so long to start this part of our life and all the pieces seem to be falling into place. My pregnancy was going very well no morning sickness, no unusual pain except every now and then I would have a shooting pain in my stomach, the doctors said the pain was normal in the first trimester and not to worry.
We were about 10 weeks along when we heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. It was a very strong heartbeat so we were feeling really good. That day the doctor’s office recommend a blood test and ultrasound in the next two weeks to do some screening for down syndrome and other chromosome abnormalities. My husband and I decided to do it, we wanted to see the baby as soon as possible. My appointment was about a week and a half later. My husband was unable to go so I took my mom. We were so excited when we got to see the baby moving and heard the heartbeat again. I left with such a happy feeling. Then the next day everything changed. I received a call at work letting me know that the baby had extensive medical problems and that we had to go see a specialists to determine how bad the problems were. The afternoon we got the phone call I decided to go see my doctor to find out what was happening because I could not wait until my appointment on Monday. My doctor proceeded to tell us that they’re possible signs of down syndrome and that the baby’s intestines were on the outside of the body and the abdominal wall was not closing properly. They did not say any more than that they wanted to see what a more extensive ultrasound said.
I went on all weekend accepting the fact that we may have a special needs child and that was just fine with us. We would love and care for any baby. So by the end of the weekend I had accepted that there were problems but nothing that my husband and our family could not handle.
My husband, mom, dad and sister went with me to the specialist appointment. We got to see the ultrasound up on a tv screen so all of my family could see the baby. My husband was so happy. Toward the end of the ultrasound the tech excused herself and came back in with the doctor and the genetics specialists. They looked at the ultrasound and a few minutes later looked at me and my family and told us that it was the worst case scenario. I asked what he meant, he said that the baby had nothing below his belly no limbs had developed, the intestines were on the outside of the body and the abdominal wall was not closing and may never and that his heart was down toward his diaphragm instead of where is was suppose to be. The doctor explained that the baby had something called amniotic band syndrome. I had never heard of it before neither had any of my friends and family. My heart sank, but I asked what we could do or how we fix it? I started crying and then I remember the next words I heard “Terminate the pregnancy.” Our other options were to wait and see if the baby would abort it self, I could deliver later on if he made it that long or I could go full term and the baby would not live past birth. My husband, and our families talked long and hard about what the right decision would be. We decided that it would be better to terminate the pregnancy. This was not a decision that I made lightly and it is a decision that I have to live with everyday. I am submitting this hoping that I might be able to help somebody else out with their decision. I found this website two days before I made my decision. I read the stories and realized that I was not alone. I made the only decision I felt like I had for me and my baby. I miss my baby very much. We found out after some chromosomal testing that it was a little boy. People may judge my decision, but I feel I made the only decision I could with the information I supplied myself with. I hope anyone that reads my story understands my decision. I hope that my story may help one person looking for somebody who may have been in their position before. I will talk with you and help in any way I can to anybody that wants it.
It gets better with everyday but the pain will never go away.
