We have been married for eight years and tried to get pregnant for a long time. I found out about four years ago that I have polycystic ovarian disease. The only hormone that was out of whack was my insulin level. It didn’t process correctly. I went from a size 16/18 to a 28 in 7 years. Nothing I did helped. I went to a popular weight loss program and lost 50 pounds and was in a size 22. I found out I was pregnant and would have the baby in January.
We were so excited. Everything was going great. I went to all of my prenatal appointments, ate right, rested and took vitamins. We heard a loud, fast, strong heartbeat on July 21, my husband’s birthday (He is 30 and I am 26). We started thinking of names and were to find out what it was on Sept. 6. On my week 19 appointment August 17 I went in for a routine visit and he couldn’t find the heartbeat. We didn’t worry too much because it took two visits before we heard it the first time. He took me to an ultrasound room and did an ultrasound.
The baby stopped growing at 16 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I saw the screen and could see my little one curled up. It looked so cute, but it didn’t move even when he poked my stomach. I knew what was going on but I was in a haze. My baby was dead. I went into the hospital that following Monday. They gave me medicine combined with seaweed rods inserted into my cervix to soften and open it up. They took me to surgery Tuesday morning and put me into labor. I was knocked out and he told my husband while I was in the recovery room that everything went better than expected and that what little water I had left broke and the baby came out in one piece along with the placenta. He did not have to do anything. I was thankful for that. I stayed home not lifting anything for the rest of the week. On Sunday I was laying in bed and felt my nightgown get wet. I thought my cat, Scraps had peed on me. They didn’t tell me that because of the labor my body was put in that the hormone would kick on and I’d have milk. I didn’t think about it because I thought it was too early.
I went back to the Doctor Monday and he told me that our baby had been the victim of amniotic banding. One band was around the wrist and arm, one band was around an ankle and foot and two wrapped around the umbilical cord, which is what killed the baby. We do not know the sex of our baby yet because they weren’t sure, we are waiting on chromosome studies now to find out. We are going to try again as soon as we can, but a neonatologist has to follow me also now that I am classified as high risk. No other baby can ever replace this one, but at least we can start a family.
We did not get to see our baby or hold it, and I know we probably could not have taken it. We do have a recording of the heartbeat and a very early ultrasound picture. I miss my baby every day and I wake up in the middle of the night crying and sometimes some little thing will make me cry. I know it will take time, but we will get through this together.
Melody & Ronny
UPDATE: We found out the baby was a girl. We named her LouAnn Louise for our deceased grandmothers. So far, we have not gotten pregnant. After I lost her I gained my weight back because I was depressed. I recently got diagnosed as being type II diabetic and am on insulin, which is safer for a baby than the insulin-controlling pills. I have already lost 30 pounds, so I am hoping that with 20-30 more I will be able to get pregnant again. We have not forgotten our little angel. It is still hard on me every August 22 (surgery anniversary) and every January 11 (due date). She would have been two this year (2008). We have not given up hope and are glad that our baby is watching over us and knows we love her.
